The Imperfect Relationship

We all want that perfect relationship, and the perfect little family, but sometimes it just doesn’t workout that way.

I thought giving birth to his child would bring us closer together, recently it feels like it’s torn us farther apart.

It takes all my energy raising this little human being we created together, “being a stay at home mom is easy”, he says. He just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t have to change diapers, keep her fed, entertain her 24/7 with toys, and reading, and just random things around the house. He doesn’t have to experience the anxiety and fear of not being good enough, the moments of exhaustion and wanting to just lay down and take a nap but you can’t.

When you just want to take a moment to yourself but also knowing there’s laundry and dishes that need to be done.

Then by the end of the day when the baby is fed and finally asleep, and he comes home and wants all your attention, and you just don’t have the energy to give it to him.

Then you get called lazy and unproductive, because your job of being a stay at home mom in his eyes is easy. Then next thing you know your always fighting, or he is always mad at you, and you can’t feel anything because your soo tired that your numb. Why am I the problem? Why am I the bad guy? What can I do to fix this? but nothing seems to help, the distance between us just gets further apart, and the anger towards me increases. Have we completely lost interest in each other, I want to get our relationship back on track but I feel like I’ve lost him and I don’t know how to get him back.